just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
