You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
