You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
