Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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