like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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