yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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