Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize