it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
