I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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