You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
