Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
