Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
