I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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