the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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