: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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