Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
