As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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