Got a toothbrush?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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