forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
