im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
