I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
