I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
