worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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