Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
