The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
