why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
