He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize