There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
