It's Friday. Sex?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
