i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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