Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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