I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i believe in u and ur pee
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