Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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