nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
