??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think people are normalizing furries
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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