I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
