Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
