thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
