I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
