i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He kissed a someone with a penis
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
