Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you had me at cake vodka
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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