Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
