P.S. I can't hear my feet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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