just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
