My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
