guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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