Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've blown a few things in my day
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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