a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
