If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
