He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
