Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i need some magic done to my vagina
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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