You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
