that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
