When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
