i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
