I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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