i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
