Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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