what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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