my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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