Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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