quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
