you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
