I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
