Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize